Believe it or not: An intersex person reveals what dating is like for them

Revealed how an intersex person navigates the world of dating and sex.

BlumeAndrew Bucklow uses the pronouns they/them I have news for you on the podcast, they are intersex, which is when someone is born without meeting the criteria for being biologically male or female.

Typically, an intersex person has things like Blume’s chromosomes, hormones, or sex organs of both sexes.

Only 1.9% of the world’s population is intersex.

“I was born with androgen insensitivity syndrome,” Blume told the podcast. “Basically, I was XY and I was ready to be a boy, but because my body didn’t respond to androgens, I basically had to stay that little baby.

Blume began to learn about their true gender at the age of 16.

“So I came out looking like a normal woman. And then when I hit puberty, I found out that I don’t have a female reproductive system.

“I actually had balls in me, believe it or not.”

Blume was diagnosed at the age of 16 when they went to the doctor for an unrelated reason, but believed the doctor to be underage.

Doctors looked into it and it turned out they were intersex – something Blume had never heard of before.

Blume’s parents were in the room after receiving a phone call from the doctors about the vision. However, the news came with a caveat.

“When I was first diagnosed, the doctors told me not to tell anyone and that it was too dangerous for me to share with people, even my friends,” they said.

“So the sense of secrecy and shame made it worse. But luckily I didn’t listen to them. I felt like I wanted to share it with everyone anyway.”

Friends and family have been supportive, but Blume said there have been some rumors about them at school. However, in adult life, everyone accepts information.

Blume never had any surgery to remove his testicles or create a fully formed vagina after being born without testicles.

Instead, their doctor recommended a procedure called a dilation, a procedure most vaginismus sufferers use when rods are inserted to stretch the vagina so it won’t be too painful to use tampons or have sex.

That’s what it did for Blume sexually.

Blume says they get asked if being intersex affects their libido, but they find it’s the same as anyone who enjoys sex.

Blume TikTok.
Blume found that their sexuality was the same as any other person’s.

Blume also revealed that their dating life is not affected by their being intersex because they are part of the Queer community, so they are open-minded, but Blume’s other friends who are intersex have no problems either.

The young man said that when they first found out they were intersex, they wished they weren’t, but that society has changed over the years, and since their diagnosis, they’ve learned that there are as many intersex people in the world as there are redheads.

“When you’re a teenager, you try to be as different as possible,” they said. “But it’s changed my life for the better. I’ve met so many incredible people, I’ve learned so much about myself. And it has all the benefits.

Blume TikTok.
Bloom says being intersex doesn’t affect her dating life either.

“Personally, I never have to have my period. I don’t grow body hair or anything like that. I never have to wear deodorant because I don’t have body odor.’

But Blume wants something for the intersex community, and that’s for people not to be forced to choose their gender if they don’t want to.

They also want more representation for intersex people in programming for adult shows like Heartbreak High or Sex Education.


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