Forget the club, I can’t wait for the women’s toilets to return to camaraderie

bElla James* had just finished an eight-hour shift and went straight to pre-drinks with friends. The 22-year-old admitted that a drink or two was too much for her. Feeling sick on her way to the venue, she remembers having blurred vision, seeing her three Uber drivers, and barely getting down. Steps In club.

“I made a bee-line to spruce up the girls’ toilets. I was badly,” she says. Finding herself alone on the floor of the cubicle, all she could think about was the ruin of the new outfit she had worn hours earlier. “And then I saw a neat hand slip at the bottom of the cubicle and told me everything was going to be okay.

“The situation was objectively funny, but pretty cool, and it reminded me of the typical female unity that shows itself when we’re drunk and sometimes don’t feel like we’re in a safe place.” But they are,” she says.

Public places where women feel completely safe may be few and far between: A 2019 report from the Trades Union Congress found that one in two women have been sexually assaulted at work. Survey data from review site FitRated found that 71 percent of women have had uncomfortable conversations at the gym, and a YouGov survey last year found that 55 percent of women in London have been the victim of some form of sexual behavior by a stranger Huh. public transport.

Enter the women’s bathroom, a place of camaraderie and bonding. Whether it’s in the spacious lounges at Weatherspoon (and those central fountain-style sinks), the toilets at crowded train stations or at your favorite club, complete with a friendly attendant who has lollipops, hair grips, and hairspray on hand Yes, feel the women’s bathrooms are unmatched.

Earlier this year, TikTok creator Rosie Lu went viral after making a video entirely of a conversation between two drunk women in a women’s toilet. The video, titled “Point of View: You Meet Her in the Club’s Toilets,” features Rosie as the drunk but supportive girl we’ve all met, who just took someone over her boyfriend. Found crying


I saw a neat hand slip at the bottom of the cubicle and told me everything was going to be fine.

But on 23 March 2020, Boris Johnson imposed a nationwide lockdown. With the lockdown closed nightclubs, which, unlike other social venues, have not been allowed to reopen, contributing to widespread difficulties for the nightlife industry. till now. as well as reopening to save jobs, livelihoods and the dwindling footprint of clubs in our cities – Number of Clubs fell from the fifth Even a year before covid – I’m glad they’re reopening for bathrooms.

A night out at a club consists of several highlights; Getting dressed up with friends, drinking in the taxi, strangers you meet in the smoking area, but there’s nothing quite like the girls you meet in the bathroom. “Conversations with kind strangers are something that a lot of people, including myself, have been missing since Covid,” says Bella.

For 45-year-old Joss Prior, these girls provided a sense of security at her first glory as she transitioned to living as a trans woman. His friends had chosen a club where people were mostly gay and heterosexual, which made Joss apprehensive about how he might be received. It was further aggravated when he found himself alone in a long queue for the toilet.

“I’d usually be okay using women’s blanks, but you have that fear in your mind, [that] Someone can start over and decide I shouldn’t be there,” she says. Feeling humiliated, Joss recalls trying to be “inconspicuous” and make himself “as small as possible”, until the DJ started playing Britney Spears.

“The poison came on the speakers and suddenly all the women in the queue came alive. Within seconds we were all in a circle and singing full blast. At one point, a girl rolled her eyes at me and smiled, it was clear that she saw me as trans. He put one of his arms around me, and we all danced together until the queue subsided,” she says. It became the highlight of the night and he left the toilet with a smile.

Like Joss and Bella, most women have a story or two when a woman they didn’t know showed them kindness in the bathroom. But for some people, these moments were the beginning of a friendship of a lifetime rather than a night of fun with strangers. Abhay Rose, 24, first met Harjyot in the bathroom of a bar, where she looked “alone and lost”.

Harjyot’s friends had left him alone and went home at night. Both drunk enough, the pair stumbled into the same toilet cubicle where they bonded over their mutual interest in tarot readings. “I think we both knew right away that we were supposed to meet that night. We just clicked, and it felt so comfortable,” she says.


I think we both knew right away that we were going to meet that night. We just clicked, and it felt very comfortable.

The pair exchanged Instagrams and continue to talk daily. Despite the 40-minute distance between them, they still meet regularly and Abhay considers her one of his closest friends. Now, they go to clubs together, making sure not to leave without each other. “I’ve learned a lot about myself since we met. She pulls me up a lot and brings me down to earth when I swim away. [I’m] I’m so thankful I met him!” she says.

And for 23-year-old Nadia Wyatt*, life recently came full circle in one of Manchester’s bar women’s toilets. She realized that the woman she was comforting was actually crying for the same man she dated (and cried). “He said he was having boy trouble and I was like ‘oh f***, don’t cry and all the normal stuff,’ and then he mentioned his name,” she says. “I struggled to contain the laughter of knowing he was still a terrible demon and left the bathroom.”

Nadia was unable to tell a stranger that she too had cried for the same boy in the same bathroom two years earlier. “Instead, I completely went back to my friends and we raised a tequila in their honor,” she says.

as coronavirus Restrictions have been eased, various aspects of our social lives are gradually back. dinner with grandparents; cinema trips; Days spent shopping and drinks at the bar with friends are now possible. But as nightclubs prepare to reopen, it’s the fleeting, yet meaningful displays of kindness among women that I look forward to the most.

*Some names have been changed to protect their privacy.

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