Whitey Katie turned into St. Kate Middleton … and got the last laugh


BLINK And you may have missed it.

Three new images have not been released to mark Kate Middleton’s 40th year. (Blanket-coverage was impossible to miss.)

Three new pictures of her have been released to mark Kate Middleton's 40th birthday

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Three new pictures of her have been released to mark Kate Middleton’s 40th birthdayCredit: EPA
Today, in her fifth decade, St. Kate can do no wrong

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Today, in her fifth decade, St. Kate can do no wrongCredit: EPA

Instead, a woman’s obvious opening title was once derided as “Whitey Katie”.

Today, in her fifth decade, St. Kate can do no wrong.

Perhaps people have seen this quiet, respectful woman smiling for a long time, while she is at the community center in Hartlepool, enthusiastically shaking hands with Maureen and Karen or cutting the ribbon at the new leisure center in Crewe.

Perhaps it is because people have finally embraced the future princess of Wales after nearly 25 years of mourning the past.

Perhaps this is because, in an alternate reality, the 40-year-old Duchess – who teaches global poverty from her £ 11million California mansion – is the supreme rules.

And this is not tolerated thinking.

The Duchess of Cambridge celebrated her milestone birthday with a quiet family celebration at the Anmer Hall in Norfolk.

Regarding her gathering, a friend diligently told the Times Times that Kate “does not drop and pull the pin and lashes.”

(Unlike me, after pulling 40 years last month, I totally pulled the pin.)

In 2007 – four years away from William’s wedding – Kate was hitting shots at London’s Raffles nightclub and doing “The Worm”.

Desperate to start a conversation with the future royal, my equally drunken partner bowled to Kate and asked where her top was.

At that point, the eager Kate replied: “Oh, I don’t know. Hang on. Look at the label.”

Then she grabbed her (West London) upper collar and happily declared: “It’s Reese!” Those slow days and those high-street labels are mostly gone.

But unquestionably, Kate – who has been labeled a “loving” person in her sixth-form yearbook – has a mischievous side.

In the new photos taken by Vogue Snapper Paolo Roversi, he looks absolutely stunning (though he seems to be auditioning for a remake of “RT” Gone With The Wind).

King years are like turtle years. For Kate, 40 is really a new 30.

See Queen (95 not out), Prince Philip (99, retired) Queen Mother (101) and Princess Alice (102). She is still a whip.

Cynics may complain that Kate’s PR machine is going to overdrive late.

If Meghan’s campaign team had advised her client of the same, perhaps we would have recognized the US star’s 40th spot with matching enthusiasm.

It sucked

Instead, Kate has relentlessly and blessedly followed the school of thought “Never complain, don’t explain.”

Meghan, on the contrary, has complained quite a bit over the past two years.

When she went to Oprah, she told 50 million viewers that Kate was constantly crying about her bridesmaids’ dresses, the sister did not die a bit, and so did the mystery surrounding the royal family.

Despite the endless hype, Kate never once lured her sister-in-law.

Although the snooty, deeply jealous Aristos mocked the work of his mother Carol’s former flight cabin crew – who brutally called her “Doors to Manual” – Kate said nothing.

In her early days with William, when people mocked her for waiting for the ring, she maintained a respectful silence. She sucked it up and plastered it on a smile.

Laughter is real today. And for her one-time opponents, the Duchess of Cambridge certainly has the last laugh.

Oldies Golden

The awards ceremony is the lowest in the history of awards ceremonies and is gone (and I write this as a participant in the 2013 Structural Steel Design Awards).

But the best supporting actor on television at the Golden Globes was Squid Game star Oh Yeong-su.

The best supporting actor on television at the Golden Globes was Squid Game star Oh Yeong-su.

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The best supporting actor on television at the Golden Globes was Squid Game star Oh Yeong-su.Credit: NETFLIX

Fittingly, the 77-year-old is the first Korean to win a Golden Globe in the 77-year history of showbiz gongs.

Even though my Korean is worse than my GCSE German and Year 9 French, their rendition of Player 001 was excellent in the addictive dystopian thriller.

And this again proves, age is not a barrier.

The Pope is a Paw Judge

The Pope is off my fictional Christmas card list.

Francis considers not having children is “selfish and makes us less”, instead suggesting that people who have cats or dogs live a shorter life.

Pope Francis considers not having children is 'selfish and reduces us', suggesting that people who have cats or dogs live shorter lives.

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Pope Francis considers not having children is ‘selfish and reduces us’, suggesting that people who have cats or dogs live shorter lives.Credit: Rex

It was from a lively ambitious man who chose the childless to climb the greasy papal pole.

How supportive. How sensible. And how deeply awakened by the man of God.

Dora Dachshund is my child. Now 40 and resolutely single (I am not Dora, though she is currently on the market), my expectations of having children are decreasing day by day.

I love Dora unconditionally just like any other nappy creature. Most of all, I am completely satisfied with not having children.

Meanwhile, other hopelessly motherly women (and men) cannot physically have children. Their remarks must be deeply offensive to them.

Third, at the risk of sounding all Harry-and-Meghany, animals have a lower environmental footprint than children.

So yes, we have children free demons helping save the planet.

Pope Francis can paste it in his high-church pipe and smoke it.

Lock the trolls

“Sticks and stones may break my bones. But words never hurt me.”

Writers of 19th century children’s nursery rhymes have never been on Twitter. (This makes sense.)

Troll is finally arrested for threatening to murder Pierce Morgan and his eldest son Spencer.

Six months after the original Instagram messages from Crete are coming up, it’s time.

The abuse of trolls can come from hundreds of miles away, but words can hurt and hurt – and they can be terrifying too.

Trolls that live in the bottom of the basin need to return from where they came from. In this instance, a gloomy, dirty prison room.

Sheri’s Tour de Force

Sheridan Smith has made another spectacular change.

The most talented actress is amazing and believable in the heartwarming BBC drama Four Lives.

Sheridan Smith is wonderful and believable in the heartwarming BBC drama Four Lives

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Sheridan Smith is wonderful and believable in the heartwarming BBC drama Four LivesCredit: Getty

A three-part series about the evil “Grinder Killer” Stephen Port highlights angry cops’ incompetence and deeply rooted homophobia.

If there were four beautiful women in their twenties killed by the port, I have no doubt the police would have acted faster.



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